The Joys of Living in the Modern World

by John Parker, Jr.

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released October 24, 2014

All music and lyrics
written, performed, and recorded
by Matthew Cassillo
Artwork by Matthew Cassillo



all rights reserved


John Parker, Jr. New Bern, North Carolina

The Joys of Living in the Modern World.

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Track Name: People Lie
Fought for, fucked, or forgotten? Tell me, how do you want it? We talked all night. You said “People lie.” You were right. My passenger seat has been staring at me for the better part of a week. Saturday you were sat next to me. Now it’s hard to believe.

Cause I feel your presence near. And I see you everywhere. And I felt your fingers in my hair. But you’re not there.

I always said, if I got the chance, I’d make you love me. I’d make it last. But I got my chance, and I watched it pass. Another day and there’s still no hope. I dropped my coffee. I lost my coat. Feel like I could die in my soaking wet clothes.

Cause I felt your body close. And I’ve seen under your clothes. But where does your body go when it leaves your soul and me alone?

We talked all night. You said “People lie.” You were right.
Track Name: Die Every Summer
I’m back for another summer. Tell me, do you feel the same? Have you got your problem sorted? Is it just a waiting game. I want to take you to a movie, kiss you up against my car. And I won’t let you leave until you call him up and say, “So long, so long.”

“Sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. Now I’ve got a guy who treats me better than you. He takes me out at night and never makes me pay. And that’s the only thing that matters anyway.”

I’d apologize for everything I did at your house last night when I was drunk and dumb. Except I wasn’t there. I’m always living in the wake of girls who pass me over. I miss your blonde hair. Wish you’d dye every summer.

Sometimes things don’t go the way you want them to. It’s all the time for me and I don’t know what to do. Cause everything I drink is going straight to my heart. And I can’t have another fling, I’m falling apart.
Track Name: Local Bookstores
You made me buy a book, so reading I’d remember the summer afternoons that we had spent together. I thought that it was strange, cause how could I forget it. I only say your name since the first night that we met.

Listening to you between the shelves, I thought intently to myself. What if I kissed you on the mouth? Would you lose interest in me?

My timing’s always wrong. I always wait too long, or I don’t act at all. Regret that I was born.

But you’ve got a look that I could live for, and you’re pretty mind. Wish I could keep on hanging out with you at local bookstores. Laying with you at the beach.
Track Name: 4th of July
We were at the same beach, looking out at the water. Rows of people with their blankets and sheets. The fireworks from the harbor. Came from a party, met up with my co-worker friends. And we could walk there from your house, but I didn’t know you then.

I’ve got your number, I don’t call it anymore. Afraid of what I might say. “Have all your feelings gone away?” If you came over, well to think what I would do. After all this time, it’s only dreams of you.

But baby, you can waste my time. I’ll be waiting on the other side. If you gave us a chance, I could make you believe. We’d be falling in love over afternoon coffee, and some books at the beach that we took from your shelf. But it seems that my heaven is to close to your hell.

And I won’t ever change my mind. The only thing that’s true in this whole wide world of aching pain is the way I feel for you.
Track Name: Smoke Rings
Lost in your eyes, I’d forget what I’m trying to say. Remember the times I would walk you to the train everyday.

And you were all that I could see. Way back when you would talk to me. And I would stare down at your feet, just wishing you would pin me to a tree.

And dancing with me in my apartment on some Friday night. In pictures we looked like a couple, got girlfriends uptight.

And on the ground with cigarettes, outside at the Decemberists. It was his birthday, nonetheless, but you were in my sweatshirt, watching me.

And I watched the smoke rings from my hands. I watched it burn like it was science. And through my fingers, it did slip away.